the incredible journey to the centre of the earth.......

amazed ??? astounded ??? interesting ???
thought I'd write a spin off on Jules Verne's classic???? or worse plagiarise.....??? naaw....don't be so protective of thy opinion.....u thought im gonna write about a fantastic dreamy journey in the sci-fi genre...alien warships,meat guzzlin monsterz, blood thirsty pirates .......didn't ya???

you're wrong and right......im gonna write about an amazing journey......but definitely not to THE CENTER OF THE EARTH......[that is just advertising...]...

Now i'm kinda hoping that you've read me earlier posts bout the glittering wedding ceremony we attended[Nag's didi...]....you did not????? go on....read em.....










After the sumptous feast we were treated to at Nag's jiju's....we decided to make haste and start our packin for the impending arduous journey.Nonchalant chatter and expert[!] discussion on Gautam Gambhir's batting technique echoed all over the room [heck we know his weaknesses more than Zaheer Khan ever did !!.....IPL brings so much of discussion doesn't it??].In the din nobody noticed that Gani's went from a "wheatish complexion' to "anaemic pale".....and suddenly there was a monstrous sound....a sound so wretched that the devil would have cringed....it went like "BBBBYYYAAAASASASDAFSFSGSGFGGHJKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"........The fear of werewolves and all creatures made us turn and we saw that Gani was vomiting....water.....oh me gudness!!!....he was Dehydrated...severely....and looked in extremely poor shape...

Unwilling to take chances we ran outside and searched for pharmacies and in a jog covered more than half of the sleepy lil town dat Tadipatri is.....and not a single pharmacy was open...!!!! poor Gani ...he had a terrible time...as sinking a feeling as Sourav Ganguly had when Chappelgate started.Appreciate his cooperative nature.Dehydration and stomach aches notwithstandin we left for the station,got ourselves tickets and started for hyderabad.

Train journeys are experiences that somehow seem to store in indelible memory folder in my brain.I seem to remember each n every train journey i've made.The rocking,the bunks,the vendors,the seemingly unlimited chai n coffees[well as kids those were the only times we were allowed to drink tea n coffee]the holiday mood,the meals packed in tiffin carriers,the card games,the incessant chatter....

Unfortunately our journey back home was not a journey we would associate with the pleasurable childhood "meri pehli rail yatra" essay we would write as hindi assignment.Twas mates,faaaaaar from it......but it was a memory to remember....

As I've mentioned already poor ol Gani had the water sucked outta him by the much less than august weather of good ol Tadipatri.And there he was retchin n throwin out water at every jerk n movement he experienced.Even my vile n zany self felt a tinge of guilt at that poignant sight.

Unsure n hapless at the same time we got ready to barge into the general compartment.As the train came rushing in....we felt that incredible hulk came barging towards the station in all his "I SMASH AAARRRRRRRRGGGH" mood morphed into a snake thingy.....and then we realised that the platform was at a level much much lower....heck it did not qualify to be a platform !!! it was more like a pavement in monda market[....non existent !!!!....].The incredible train hulk snake stopped and we knew twas to be for a 40 second period or so....

The general compartments are located at two positions...one near the engine and one just in fronta the end....the strategy we made was simple.....chaaaarge....and grab the empty seats....and look out for the otherz.....but as if loki the god of mischief was havin a field day n ganesha thought this was a good joke to be played on us......THE COMPARTMENT WE TARGETTED[in the rear] WAS FULLLLLL !!!!!! More like the pepsi bottle which is filled,shaken and stirred and ready to explode.....when opened......overflowin like water does when u fill a tea cup with water from the pipe of a fire brigade engine.....overflowing like the rice which our mummies packed in tiffin boxes for lunch at skool.........

Urz truly threw caution to the gale and jumped in runnin full speed .....and barged in the compartment probably crushin at least 7 people and 15 feet and 30 toes........[make no mistake im a heavyweight]....naturally the reaction was a mixture of disgust,pain,exasperation and haplessness[it was like a rhino jumpin on blackbucks..!!! dunno bout the rhino....but they def were blackbucky...].On enterin i found to my horror that another session of hatha yoga was in store......[u knw standin on un foot....elbows tucked in.....].I frantically searched for an empty space and for fresh air[my head was bobbing up n down like a Hawaiian doll] as the crowds came rushing into the compartment.

Finally i spotted an empty space....and there was a lot of pleasant emptiness about it.But it had a catch to it like a reliance offer on a real estate deal.The space was in front of the bathroom !!! Which stank like a ....well bathroom....But who cares.....u cannot be an alpha lion in a water buffalo stampede can you??So off to the passage in front of the bathroom i went and unintentionally kicked an old man's shin in the process.I apologised n was met with a incisor-less toothy grin...i did give him back a smile as mischievous as a poltergeist[i get dat naturally].And he offered me a cigarette n his grin went from cheek to cheek....wow...really nice of him......but being the non-smoker n responsible citizen[its an offense to smoke in trains]i politely declined.His grin faded as dirt and grime disappears when you was clothes with surf !!As if he were seeking revenge n makin a VENGEANCE IS MINE statement he blew the smoke towards me for the next hour or so !!The bathroom door had a cycle parked on it at approximately a seventy degree angle....and i decided to make lemonades from the lemon dat life had thrown at my feet and i sat down on the seat of the bicycle.Apparently i was not the only resident smart ass.......some others also wantd to squeeze the juice outta the lemon at least......and they sat down on the handle,the h.rod etc and CO2 levels in the small passage rose dangerously makin my brain melt into a plasma state......Suddenly the bathroom door in front opened[it did take effort coz a fat guy was leanin n sleepin against it] and the lil light bulb in my head flickered on.I looked out from my vantage point to see if i could spot any of my mates n the closest to me was VATS[short for vatsyayana....dont ask !!].

"yo Vats..." i bellowed
"wat??" he shouted back
"come here" i said
"wat???r u kooky"
"nay mate....got some space...."
"oye dats the bathroom passage"
"arey just come here smarty pants"
"but.....it is the bathroom space mate !!!"
"aarey....raa be"

and he came.....squeezed through actually,kickin the old man again...was offered a cig...refused...got smoked at...and squeezed again,

"wats the plan?" he said
"open the bathroom door behind us"i whispered in his ear
"WAAATTTTTT???? u flipped?????"
"open it sloth......dont shout" i rasped

the door opened...the bathroom was empty and pretty much clean....maybe because of the cycle.....

the others got up of the cycle assumin i wud take a call in the toilet n i jumped in the bathroom.....and took the cycle in with me !!!!!
then i asked Vats to jump in quickly and he understood quckly enough and took the leap in
to others' amazement i arranged the cycle from a corner to another.....and both of us sat on the cycle[i wonder who was the owner] inside the BATHROOM !!!!!!
You must be wunderin wat we did for ventilation.....simple...we became romans in rome and Vats opened the window which was a vertically slidin one and took out the glass shutter and presto !! we had an air conditioned bathroom in the general compartment.....

and hour must have passed when the monophonic nino rota composition went off again....

i picked up the fone and answered

[hyderabadi urdu]

"hello?"
"yo ZaNy....tis me Ritk"
"bolo ustaad...tum train chade yaaro??"
"hau...aapki dua se chadhe.....hau baat suno "
"bolo ustaad"
"Arey main utar gaya yaaro..."
"Kab miyan????"
"are baat suno"
"hau bolo..."
"woh howlepan ki station aayi na....jahaan gaadi das minute ruki..."
"hau..."
"wahan main aur tiger utarke pehle compartment ku bhaage"
"waisa.....chade fir????"
"hau....kirrkirri...yahaan poori compartment khaali hai ji...tum logaa aa jao..."
"zarrurat nai hai ustaad main a/c main baithke hoo.....[and i told him of the cycle thingy]"
"arey...aa jao bhai...paap bichaaro ku bhi leke aao"
"theek hai re bhai....aayinge gootty me utaringe"
"ok....gimme a call"


[those of you who did not understand.....well too bad]


and i told Vats of the new plan.Initially he resisted but gave in eventually.I gave a call to Emp and the otherz n asked em to get down at Gooty.The response was affirmative....maybe because they had too much of their hatha yogic positions !!

Gooty cam an hour n fifteen minz after we left tadipatri.It was a supposed junction n we assumed the train would halt for at least 5 mins.We got down...all of us did....and we ran......ran like maurice greene....ran like ato boldon.....ran like tim montgomery.....ran like asafa powell.....sprinted like usain bolt......!!!!!!
Vats n Upps ran first...they ran more like two fellows chased by mad dogs....and they had the lead for quite a time......until they were really chased by dogs !!!!
yes...they were chased by a gang of rowdy dogs....if the situation had not been desperate it wud've HILLLARIOUS to the hillll......and Upps and Vats were pretty much aware that they were playin tag wid a group of dogs.

picture this.....
-two guyz runnin.....increasin their pace in the fear that they'll miss the train
-7 dogs runnin behind them......increasin their pace in jest n sheer fun to catch their target
-the guyz slowin down aware that they're bein chased....
-the dogs slow down assumin its a game.....
-the guyz....terrified run like gazelle chased by lioness
-the dogs sprint assummin they're the predatorz chasin gazelles....

-few wacko guys[me included]joggin along behind....half laafffin and half joggin....

[i could have sworn i actually saw one of the drain water colored dogs was smilin n jeerin...]

Anyway we reached our compartment and got in very easily as there were no overflowin people.....half angry at ourselves and half grateful.....and we laid Gani to rest on one of the benches[boy he was in a bad shape] and settled ourselves in the remainin seats or in the passageway....on the floors.Ritk n i decided to stand for sometime and aggravate a few passengers....
We assumed that since the train came down from chennai all must be hindi illiterate madrasis[dats racist].We spotted a gal sittin right across us....and started to make some really rude comments in our lingo like

"kya dekhrrein une yaaro."
"nakko dekho bolo ji"
"are....tumharku dekhri bhai....tum pasand aa gaye...kya baat hai...baat karaun usse"
"kaiku toh bhi....kaisi hai dekh dikhne me....kaali bhasand !!"
"hau.....dekhke lagraa jaise......jaise kaali bhasand"
"are...gussa horee yaaro....samajh me aara honga unku shayad..."
"are madrasiyo ka compartment hai miyan....unku kya samajh me aata????"

and the next moment she began to speak in fluent hindi with her lil bro !!!! .....

aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh........I had never dropped a bigger clanger in my life.........

and i was not visible near dat gal for the rest of the journey again...!!!!

the rest of the journey back home was uneventful.....

and at 9am we descended from the train [Kachiguda again] and headed our separate ways to spend the summer in some semblance of peace.......

made in heaven............

*nino rota's composition of the godfather chimes*[monophonic.....whadya expect????]

a lil surprised,a lil amazed and a lil irritated i picked up my ol faithful mobile and put it to my ear....."yo chumps....wakey wakey......breakfasts ready u guyz....where are you????the wedding's gonna start in an hour mates......wake up sloths..."
*KLICK*......i disconnected the call[rather rudely so]....and went back to the dream where i was givin elvis guitar lessons...!!

830 AM[early morn in my books]-

an hour or two must have passed...when someone shouted aaaaaaaaa[that was the time when i was about to take lessons for Norah Jones....]...and i was rudely roused from me slumber up by the hyperactive ram."dang! u idiot...." was my response..."mate...jeet's here...he's come directly from nellore !!".
"good for him" i replied exasperated[and desparate to return to norah]..."nanana...ur not gonna go back n fall to the bed...." he said and pulled me outta it..gotta give the man some credit cuz i by no means am a feather-weight!
the point is my dear friends,im not the kinda guy who gets angry,irritated or sad too easily...but when someone wakes me up just as if wakin up a dog.....i do become rabid !!but the holiday mood got us all drunk n i did not bite....it took a lot to wake the otherz up....persuasion,shaking,shouting and water throwin.....


the strangest of vices is inertia....people do not somehow want to grab opportunities that are so obviously kept at hand's reach but want to cry bout lost time n lost chances........


the bathroom was empty when i woke up....but i chose to loll around ZANYing everyun...and when it was occupied i was cringing in the pressure..!!!! finalllly.......it was vacant n i rushed in.....towel,brush n stuff in tow.....n answered the call of the divine nature...

horror of horrors !!! i realised i had to sing....just to ensure that i keep myself in the toilet.......there was no latch....and to prove that the bathroom was vacant and to prevent an unforgettable accident i had to rasp in my basal voice...
no issues there though...i am a kishore fan [an elvis,gnr,ac/dc,led zeppelin fan too...]"yeh jo muhabbat hai....o mere dil k chainn....are you lonesomme tonight" echoed all over the tiles......while i was multitaskin....[hahahhaa]

finally when i was done....many a desperate faces greeted me.


theres a rule amongst hyderabadis[read previous post] 11 am is subah subah....i think dat applies to all of us KMCians.by the time we reached the function hall the wedding already had reached half way into completion.we were served chow by an angry nag nevertheless.we sat and observed the rituals[??!!!!]...



hell no....we did sit....and did what is expected of a motley crew composed of smooth talkers,lunatics,hyperactive kiddos,casanovas,good guyz,oglers,louts......!!!
i chose to sit n observe wid my gud bud ritk,calculatin the the value of the jewelery worn by the ladies while he was lookin for eyesores.....

the wedding was fin. dot on time [efficient !!....] and we were called onto the stage to wish the newly weds [good health and prosperity ].....then the feast began.....
im a bengali by birth dear friends.and like all other bongs i've got a nose n a taste bud for good food[yesss im a glutton !!!]......and lemme confess....bengali feasts are hhhohoohooo elegant food wise......
it was a sumptuos meal and the khaatidaari by nag was amaaazin[we were shockd 2 c him in dis avatar...]

somebody suggested dat we could go visit a cave formation nearby."have u lost ur last marble creepo??!!its 43 degrees outside....it might be 68 in the cave for all you know......"was the response that deflated the idea.....moreover we had our train to catch in the evening....so there was no point in gettin all dehydrated.finally it was left to each to make up his own.

I did the best thing to do at that moment[or any other for that matter]....I went off to finish some unfinished business.......guitar lessons to Norah Jones n Jeniffer Lopez......[in my dreamz of course !!]
"and the rain will fall.....it'll fall for you..." put me to sleep[in my mind......i was singin it to em]

even the electricity board was in a rude mood that day.whilst i was croonin,"love me tender " to a very very beautiful maiden....the power went POOF ! it seemed like a sauna session was in store for the next eternity or so.....and eve of evening had not even showed up.the adventurous lot were back exhausted [numb brained eh?? i mean there was nuthin 2b adventurous bout].

after what it seemed like a generation had passed....after what it looked liked 4-5 kilos dat i'd lost......the "current god" took pity n let us watch IPL under the fan.we watched delhi batsmen kick mumbai's silly bottom silly enuff to be silly....then sumun suggested we could go n watch Ravi Teja's latest release "kick" in a theatre nearby.that seemed not bad enuff to b a good idea...!!!
"the theatre is air conditioned mates"...said lenin"even nag wants to come....sez its his treat".hokay...no probs there......away we went to watch Ravi teja kick some serious donkey !!!

Lenin stood in the ticket counter n asked of the ticket guy,"A/c ain't it??"
"yeah yeah.....there is the provision but we don't turn it on..." said the ticket guy nonchalantly.
"whhaaaaat???whhhyyy????"we bellowed in chorus..."electricity bill issues"pat came the reply.[JUST IMAGINE....]
anyway.....3hrz of getaway was what we'd settled for.
the film began....twas pretty gud i must confess....story of an irresponsible mate reminded me of someone....until nag received a call in the half-time....."yo guyz....lets make a move....ma jiju's made a dinner invitation....all of us are to go to his place for chow"

we were amazed n touched at the same time....i mean we were like twenty demons with KUMBHAKARNESQUE appetites.........twas quite evident that some of us had embarrassed ourselves in the lunch hall........[demonic smile....]......wow...really good people...so off we went to honour nag's jiju in return of the honour he bestowed on us only half completin the movie.

and what a sumptous feast we had !!
what good people....so large hearted....truly one happy familia...i'd like to thank the two families for showerin so much of hospitality....kudos to thee.....

the journey......

whosoever sad its the journey which is important not the destination.......
has obviously never travelled in a general compartment of a train in a journey brought to u by indian railways.....seriously,our railway minister,in order to know the state of affairs of the organisation should travel in the unreserved class.....i bet my already waning hairline his kurta will no longer have dat tide safedi......and his hair will be dyed brown too !!

so there we were....kachiguda railway stn......the line at the ticket counter was....not a line actually...it was more like a mob that had gathered around two hyderabadis arguing,"haath nikal rrei....maaki kirrkirri nai maloom mai kon hoo??...",[quite true u know..the guy at the counter had a very aggravated n intimidating expression....and was shoutin at everyun....line lo randi.....line me aao ji....shaadi ku aaye ????].

"ask not what they have done for you....but what you have done for them.."

the question was "whos brave enough to stand in this serpentine queue n risk a disc prolapse/fracture/hernia ?!!"....and as if it were a cruel zodiac joke on my zodiac sign.....it fell on my zany shoulders. "ZANY boy....ur the BAKRA" was how it sounded...."onks please stand in the line was how the put it..."
and there i was,with friends,yet alone....braving the push n the pull.....braving the goliath's staredown [ a wrestler was standin behind me...he looked freaky enuff to appear like wwe's big show]...braving the heat.....braving knee pain....braving brain pain......and finally when i reached the counter ....i was out of breath....breathin like darth vader.....raspin like gollum......"twnewrwt....huuhhh huhhh....twenty tickets to tadipatri pleeeze..."

hooray!!!! first hurdle jumped over......and now the difficult part began....gettin in....

folks...u need to have nizami rubab to get into a gen compartment....or u need to be reeaaahehehally slim.......we had both of em in our troupe and so we managed to even get seats !!!! some other wise guys threw hankies,caps n whateva they had in their pockets to sit on their fav seats[even wallets.....empty of course]....but we did get seats to sit on nevertheless....

wise guys here...wise guys there ...wise guys evrywhere....

one thing that u find common in all train journeys is people popping outta the doors tryin to get a feel a whiff of the diesel,so2,no2,n wat not mixed air blowin in their direction..... ["the answer my friend is blowin in the wind.."]
some wise guy lean too much forward like leanin pisa towerz....hangin by the handles,by the doors...or by their freinds jackets....!!!
i decided to sit by the door....on the steps ...and when a station arrived i got the shock of my life....my foot was very big n could've hit the platform...aargh...im ran back to the safety of the proper seats..

people are basically very good n kind...inspite of being chindichorz....i was offered seats whenevr requestd...but was engaged in discussion i did not want.....and was constantly feelin my pocket ensurin my purse was in its place...

the first three hourz were uneventful but enjoyable...everybody were in their elementz....everyone was a standup comedian.....we joked on each other,actors,politicians,each other,lady loves...past present n future,each other,nag....each other ...me....each other.....u get the point....

ram,who was a native of gadwal,had not been home for 6 odd months....and was excited to say the least at the prospect of the train passn his hometown...he went yaykakakakakayakakakausaksaksias......[incoherent]
"the route is very scenis....theres a 2 km long bridge over river krshna....there a big fort....ARUNDHATI was shot in my village[for u neanderthals its a movie bout a maiden ......not the name of a real maiden]....there are many many tamarind tres in gadwal[???!!!]......gadwal sarees are world famous......"
suddenly lenin came rushin in.....and hid himself in a non existent corner....[this guy was built like a wrestler]......"yo wassamatta???"
footie[aka tiger] jumped up the luggage compartment and pretended he was sleepin....

"aaaye haaye meri jaan...*clap clap*....chal raja nikaal...."
u guessed it right folks....people who complete the train experience had arrived...
EUNUCHS....wearin gadwal sarees probably,slap happy n clap happy,unusually tall n strong[not horlicks wise],...caught us perfect targets...bunch of young men who've just entered the prime of their youth....what did we do?? did we counter???nay knave....you dont counter eunuchs....or u get free anatomical anomalies' lesson !!
we handed the pirates over their booty aaaarrrrrr.........rs 10 from each...n they blessed us back...whew!!!!

and we fell on ram like a pack of wolves....yo gadwal special eh?? were those sarees made in ur town??aaaaaarrgghhh.....shit man u never told us...
"its an aberration...a mistake......noooooo" he countered.....
the situation only got worse.....the water ran out...the stoppage at each station was only 2 mins...and whosoever got down did a usain bolt for gettin back....we were hungry,thirsty n freaked out by the time we reached gooty jn.....and godspeed we found food,water n fresh air....we fell on idlis,wadas like a pack of starved lions fall on tender meat.....the vendor was left dazeds and konfoosed [a la the led zeppelin number]....


we reached our destination at 1130 pm.....we did expect tata sumos n white clad gang with swords in hand to arrive for our greetin....but gud ol nag was there wid scorpios.....his khaatirdaari was immaculate...we dined,met his folks,greeted his jijju,relatives n finally beddy bye in the lodging.....

hyderabadi forever..............

ekkees saal se hyderabad me hun.....tum logan meri izzat nikalrrein maaki kirkirri ???!!!







how much i love the slang......the lingo.....the laidback "chalta hai re bhai....."...the lite mamas....the BIRRYAANI....laad bazaar...haleem....charminar....golconda......IT hub.....metro....my home rox mates...!!!!!








somebody wid a jhakaas sense of humour wrote this bout us hyderabadis......n i cudn't secretly help but smile.....read on if ur a true hyderabadi....
and to the creator of dis un....whoever u are...... "kya toh bhi hai yaaro tum....naam badha rrein humaare hydrabaad ki...!!"







> 1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A- 43 (New MCH number
> 56-678/4A/B- 22), while you actually live in the second house beside
> zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road.
>
> 2. You [ladieeej] end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre
> workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science
> show or an automobile convention.[not to forget the numaiish]
>
> 3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves
> Chinese delicacies such as " Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten
> Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".
>
> 4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for
> directions,whether it is to Malakpet, Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or
> Moosapet.
>
> 5. You come across tailors sporting the board: 'Immidiot delivery in
> two days onli'.
>
> 6.You can speak Hindi, Urdu, hyderabadi hinglish, except Telugu, fluently.
>
> 7. You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.
>
> 8. You have at least one Srinivas, Prasad, Raju, Rao or Venkatesh
> within six square feet. OR you have at least one cousin, friend,
> colleague or acquaintance with these names.
>
> 9. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in
> the US in the software biz.
>
> 10. Every time somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first
> thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain ?'
>
> 11. Refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three
> hundred years.
>
> 12. You call 11 AM as subah subah.
>
> 13. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'
>
> 14. And it doesn't matter where in the "Gulf/middle east" you are
> leaving you always tell you are going to "Dubai ".
>
> 15. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.
>
> 16. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'
>
> 17. If you do not eat rice at least once a day you will die.(Nothing
> other than Rice is considered as a meal)
>
> 18. You feel offended by someone looking at you (Kaiku ghoor raa rrei?)
>
>
> 19. You can say the typical "Light le le baap/mama/chicha" and be cool without
> analyzing what the situation is.
>
> 20. You feel its legal and your Nizami birth right to show your hand
> and stop the traffic (better than a traffic police) while you cross
> the road whenever and wherever you like.
>
> 21. You can hang out in a Irani cafe the whole day after ordering one
> cup tea and a empty saucer for yourself and your dear friend and you
> chat like thats the last day with each other.
>
> 22. You eat biryaani from madina/niagra/paradise/bawarchi atleast once in a month
>
> 23. You go to the Petrol Bunk and say "Panch Point Single Oil maaro
> yaaro" and hand over 15 bucks.
>
> 24. You can relate the words 'Nakko', 'Hou' 'Kaiku' ,'hallu' and make
> these the integral part of your vocabulary.
>
> 25. You tell your friend that you will 'just come back' ("abbhi aathu
> mein") and your friend knows that either you will take a couple of
> hours or not come back at all.
>
>
> 26. You are reading this and secretly admitting that you are, after
> all, a true blue Hyderabadi......

the brotherz of the bride........

"Hark! The merry chimes are pealing,
Soft and glad the music swells,
Gaily in the night wind stealing,
Sweetly sound the wedding bells..."
- Eliza Cook





man's biggest enemies,my dear mates, are procrastination and inertia[although wine,desire,lust,greed....give em tuff competition]....inaction as i'd say deprives a man of his will power,self esteem,determination and strength to move on......

how is this related at all to such a tuni-bulb brightened topic like Nag's didis wedding u ask me????


there was a job...
somebody hadta do it...
nobody did it....
everybody got angry...
cos anybody cud have done it.....
but NOBODY DID IT !!!!!
[courtesy:skool jokes]


well....tadipatri is like 393 kms away from hyd....we should've got our berths reserved at least a week before...but in good times Mallya is king....we were drunk...in holiday spirit !!!!


we kept passing the buck...[i actually kicked it like the goalie]...fiiinaaalllyyyy.....the day b4 the big day,when we were sposd to board the train bound for tadipatri,we still had nooo idea who were attending the wedding.


0900 hrz....my fone went ringin the godfather tune...[monophonic !!!]...i picked it up n replied in half bangla-half hyderabadi... "kon kotha bolche re bhai??"...
"yo ZANY...its me EMP".....came the reply..."wake up u lazyy sloth !!!"
"wat zulm mate..??? its 6....."
"eyesight check kara !!! its 9..."
"ooo....my watch's upside down....sorry hehehehe...wat gives???"
"u goin na?"
"definitely" i said,"where art thou mate...??"
"lingampally....dats like half the way to mumbai!!"
"so whadya say.....bus or train??"
"well.....we've decided to travel by train...the journeys more fun !!"
"tickets nt been reserved bozo..."
"well genius....theres always the unreserved general compartment..."




smashhhh smasssshhhh smaaashhhhh.......



my face went black n white n turned thrice...a la those pathetic saans bahu soap actors !! i've travelled quite a few times to warangal[where i study] in a gen bogie....and believe me when i say it.....travellin in a general compartment is a free hatha yoga lesson !!!!
but......ZANY's pleas went to water water......frantic as my efforts were to gather 20 bus tickets to tadipatri,god seemed determined to make me fitter.....and so....the fantastic journey to the cement land dost began....

tadipatri or highwater.......of indian summers n indian wedding

India, my dear friends, to the phoren crowd is all about colors,chicken tikka,naked mendicants with their magic....the hot summer and THE WEDDINGS......
Indian weddings are occasions so vibrant and so captivating that sometimes i wonder.....why do we ape the phoren ones [in movies...] at all?????Young as my laaife may be,I remember each n every wedding ceremony that i attended vividly,and the diversities in each culture only adds up to the spice.
The baraat...the drums...the tuni lights...the welcoming...the grand reception of the groom...the beautiful people[read whimmen...wink wink...],the well dressed,the nattily dressed,the overdressed[not to mention the under dressed!!!]....some adorned with gold and precious stones...others decked like christmas trees....the food....the fights between the two parties.....the hours long ceremonies......the mantras......the FOOOODDD….heavens I cud go on and on for eons !!!!....




THE DATE: somewhere in the last week of april
THE SITUATION: tense.....the university exams are about to end....the subject evryun thought wud be a breeze, forensic medicine, turned out to be the typhoon made of our worst night mares....
THE MOOD: straight outta the godfather where theres no news about Luca, Hagen...and Papas been shot....."man...we gotta mug up IPC sections line by line for extra brownie points"...said the smart alec of the batch[and was met with murderous glances and so he decided to shut]
All of a sudden Nag rushed into the room.....stumbled and fell down wid a loud thud....got up wid equal zest and jumped on the bed and started givin bear hugs to everyun....and to some...he followed it up with kisses....!!!

“GET….AWAY….GEROFF……!!!!”,shouted Emp. “Toxicology’s bad enuff….i certainly don’t wanna add up the ­ ignominy of being mushied by you !”. “So wassup Nag??” I asked him. “Why so kisserious?”[yes im a joker fan]…….but he just wouldn’t reply……just kept huggin……..and finally when we did manage to wrestle him down….we realized he had his eyes were moist !! “ Nag…wats wrong….??” We asked of him. “ mah sis……mah sis……[sniff]……shes getting married…..!!! mates mah sis ‘ marriage has been fixed……!!! Ooooooooo yeeeaaaaaahhh……” . “AAAAAAAWWWWWSSSSUMMM………..yeeaaaahh….congrats…..congrats………….kick him kick him….oye NAGS DIDIS GETTING MARRRIED”…….was all that u cud hear ….and in that din….everybody forgot that forensic medicine and toxicology were subjects in M.B.B.S………

The exam went off well, I must say……God musta taken pity n set an easy paper. The excitement then reached a new cocainesque high…everybody began to look forward to the big day, may 10^th, the day Nag’s sis wud start a new life……